John Rhodes A.K.A. "Tequila John" A.K.A "Juan Caminos"                 

John was born on a Mud Farm in eastern Kentucky. He was raised by an Old school Marm that went by the name of "Hardnose Hanna". Hanna would whack the back of his hands with a 18" ruler whenever John spoke. When he wasn't harvesting the mud, he was expected to tend to the gophers and squirrels they raised for food. Occasionally he would wait for the Hanna to pass out and sneak down to the Local barn dance where he would sit on the roof and sing along. When he was 14 years old Hanna traded him to a Vacationing Ostrich Rancher Named Willie for An Ostrich, Two Eggs and a Cart full of Ostrich Poo. Willie took John to his Ostrich Ranch in Arizona. 1/3 Acre of Bare desert and 30 Birds. Willie was a kind hearted man and allowed John to construct his first Bass out of a bucket, Ostrich Leg and Bailing Wire. It didn't sound very good and was extremely difficult to Tune, but John fell in love with it and would play it and sing the ostriches into a frenzy every night. A few years later poor Willie Died while trying to artificially inseminate a very Cranky (No Sleep) Male Ostrich. John Inherited the Ostrich Ranch which he quickly traded for a Fender "Bassman" and a Kustom Amp.

It was because of this unusual upbringing John came to know the Blues.

Dan Milliron A.K.A. "Jamin Dan" A.K.A "Hootchie"                  

Dan was created as a Military Gaseous Weapon Experiment on a secret underground base in the Alaskan Tundra. At the age of two, during a weapons test, one of the scientist tried to light a cigarette and the base was accidentally destroyed. Dan was the only survivor and wandered the Tundra for several months before he was "adopted" by a Moose. Being raised as a Moose has it's own unique set of problems. Communication being the most significant obstacle to overcome, Dan quickly learned to speak "Moose" and it is this talent that lead to Dan's' Mind-boggling singing voice. On some songs he actually sounds just like a Moose. He was "rescued" some years later by an Eskimo Hunting Party. The Eskimos taught Dan how to carve bone. While utilizing this new skill to carve a hairbrush, Dan accidentally made his first Harmonica from a Walrus bone. It was while Dan was learning to Play the Harmonica that the Eskimos decided Alaska was too cold for Dan and all chipped in on a one way ticket to Arizona. 

Dan met John at the free Clinic and the Journey began!

Charles Labbee A.K.A. "M.D. Labbee"                                              

As a Kid, Charley was the towel boy in a West Texas Brothel. When He wasn't handing out Towels he would Entertain the Patrons by playing an old acoustic guitar someone left in one of the rooms. As his talent grew, so did his tips and he soon left the brothel for good. Charley started performing anywhere that would let him. He got the Blues during a brief stint in the City Jail. He was in on some trumped up charges and was cleared when the owner of the Laundry-mat confessed to stealing the underwear. Upon his release Charley hitchhiked to Phoenix and started Playing in bands around the valley.

John and Dan meet Charley in their Group Therapy Session and asked him if he would join the Fools.   

Bob Weir A.K.A. "Bad Bob"                                        

Bob was born the 13th child of a very large family. He was raised on the Southside of the Tracks and had to grow up fast just to survive. He started Playing drums at the age of two. His first band was the Weir Family Orchestra. They specialized in Heavy Metal, Polka and Reggie tunes and were a huge success in Czechoslovakia. After a four and a half year tour the Czechs deported the Orchestra and they returned to America. They had a difficult time selling their act in the states and Bob decided that it was time to settle down and raise a family of his own. So, He retired his drums and swore to never play again. After the last of his 42 children left home, Bob started to get bored and before long he yearned to play again. So he bought a set of drums and started anew. Since his drumming rebirth, He has played with a few bands around the valley but none of them really appreciated his Unique Polka beat.

John, Dan and Charley meet Bob late one night at "Uncle Jabba's Pork Chop Emporium". They had stopped in for some of Uncle Jabba's famous Pork Fingers. While they were waiting for their usual second helping they heard the guy (Bob) in the stall behind them Playing drums on the table to the Juke Box. They knew immediately that he was a "Fool" too. Three helpings of Pork fingers and a side of Okra later they convinced Bob to Join the band! And, If you listen carefully, you can hear the Polka beat in all of "The Fools" music.

NAAAAH......JUST FOOLIN!

OH COME ON, YOU REALLY DIDN'T TAKE ANY OF THIS STUFF SERIOUS! DID YOU?

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